Proverbs 31:10–31 (KJV)

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

“Women Living Victoriously in Him”

The study of Proverbs began with the instruction of a father, and it ends with the introduction of a mother. The book ends reinforce the critical truth that the primary place of learning is the home.

Parents have the sacred responsibility to lead their children to trust and fear the Lord; to correct and discipline them; and to teach them the word of God.

1.  “When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also” (2 Ti. 1:5).

In all of our decisions that life demands, the most important one, of course is the decision to receive Christ, to trust Him as Lord and Savior. A crucial part of that equation is reverencing God and submitting to Him in obedience.

In all of decisions that life demands, the most important one, of course is the decision to receive Christ, to trust Him as Lord and Savior. A crucial part of that equation is reverencing God and submitting to Him in obedience.

The second most important decision in life is our choice of a spouse. Like all mothers, Lemuel’s mother desired happiness and success for her son. She realized that his happiness and success would be largely determined by his selection of a wife.

Only in eternity will we fully see the blessing that godly women have brought to this world. Proverbs has much to say about wicked women in chapters 1–9, and about nagging wives (21:9 and 25:24); the book closes, however, with a glorious tribute to the godly, dedicated woman who brings honor to God and joy to her family.

Many servants of God thank God for godly mothers and godly wives. Next to making a decision for Christ, the most important decision a Christian will make is the choice of a life’s mate. “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband” (Prov. 12:4). “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord” (Prov. 18:22, nkjv ). “A prudent wife is from the Lord” (Prov. 19:14).

(31:10–12) She has an excellent, noble character.

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

What is a virtuous woman? What qualities earn her this title and prompt others to classify her as such?

a. She is very rare (v. 10).

Like wisdom itself, the noble woman is a rare and precious treasure. She is more valuable than rubies. The words “Who can find?” don’t imply that noble women don’t exist, but that, like rubies, they do not exist in abundance. Most people don’t own expensive jewels because costly gems are the luxuries of the wealthy.

Scripture is saying, then, that the value of a virtuous woman is far greater than rubies, and greatly to be desired. The man who is blessed with a godly wife is richer than a king.

The statement also suggests that if a virtuous woman could be bought, the price would be so great that most men could never afford her. Indeed, she is a gift from the Lord (19:14).

(House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.)

The second thing I saw about her noble character was:

b. She is trustworthy: Her husband can rely on her (vv. 11–12).

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

The husband of an excellent wife’s has complete confidence in her. He knows that her heart is completely devoted to him. This virtue alone is priceless. Her blessed husband never has to worry about her fidelity. He never questions her motives and he never doubts her word.

He understands the nature of men, that his wife will sometimes catch the eye of other men, but it does not bother him. In his heart he knows that she would never betray him, never do anything to hurt him or cause him shame.

She will always act in his best interests. His heart is secure in her lifelong faithfulness: all the days of her life she will be good for him and do good for him.

A trustworthy wife satisfies him and makes him content (v. 11b). Indeed, she enriches his life, enhances his esteem, and meets his needs. She completely fulfills him. He is settled, stable, and most satisfied with her.

The third quality of her character is seen in:

c. Ephesians 5:33 “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband”

This scripture stresses the primary needs of women and men. The primary need of women is for love or affection. The primary need of men is for reverence or respect.

As a wise wife or husband, one who loves the Lord and is committed to your spouse, you are to put your spouse before yourself. You should know your spouse’s needs and constantly strive to meet them.

Make your spouse fully content with you, so much so that he or she never has the desire to seek anything or anyone else.

“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Tit. 2:4–5).

(31:10–12) She has an excellent, noble character.

2. (31:25–29) She has a strong testimony

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

a. She has strength, dignity, and confidence in the future (v. 25).

The noble woman wears far more than the beautiful, elegant garments she has sewn for herself. She is also clothed with strength and honor or dignity (v. 25a).

“Wisdom strengtheneth the wise more than ten mighty men which are in the city” (Ec. 7:19).

She anticipates the future with confidence (v. 25b). She does not fear the unexpected because she is prepared (v. 21).

She does not fear old age and death, but ponders the years ahead with a smile.

The future is bright for her because she has patterned her life on the principles of the proverbs. Her life is established on a firm foundation—the fear of the Lord (1:7; 1 Co. 3:11–14).

She has sown righteousness in her life and in her family and God promises that she will reap the same (Ps. 126:5–6; Ga. 6:8).

She has planned, worked, sacrificed, and been wise in bringing her family to this point. Having enjoyed such a rich and fulfilling life thus far, she now looks forward to enjoying the fruit of her years of diligent labor with her children and grandchildren.

She fully trusts God to bring to pass the promises He has made in His Word. She recognizes that God has proven Himself faithful every step of the way, and she knows that He will continue to be faithful.

Always remember that godliness—living in the fear of the Lord—pays great dividends both in this life and in eternity:

“But refuse profane and old wives’ fables, and exercise thyself rather unto godliness. For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.” (1 Ti. 4:7–8).

b. She is wise and kind: She gives helpful and reliable counsel (v. 26).

Throughout Proverbs, one of the chief attributes of wisdom is a gracious and controlled tongue. When the noble, virtuous woman opens her mouth, only wisdom comes out (10:31). She does not speak foolishly, wickedly, or with evil intent. Many women are known to be “tattlers and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not” (1 Ti. 5:13).

This is not the testimony of the noble woman, and you need to guard your speech carefully so this can never be said about you. You should offer only wise counsel to other women (Tit. 2:3–4). Let your speech be gracious and seasoned with salt (Col. 4:6). Speak only words that edify (Ep. 4:29).

Even when you correct others, your tongue should be governed by the law of kindness: this is what you should teach, and this is how you should teach it (Ep. 4:15).

c. She stays alert to what goes on in her family: She is not idle—does not ignore any matter (v. 27).

This capable woman is again praised, this time in regard to protecting her family. She is not passive in this area; she is watchful for anyone or anything that might threaten her family. Looketh well or watches (saphah) is used of the watchman who guards the city:

“Prepare the table, watch in the watchtower, eat, drink: arise, ye princes, and anoint the shield. For thus hath the Lord said unto me, Go, set a watchman, let him declare what he seeth” (Is. 21:5–6).

Nothing escapes her attention. She notices the women who are a little too friendly with her husband. She is always aware of her children’s activities, whereabouts, and companions.

She is never off-duty in this area, never idle. Instead, she is always at her post, scouting in all directions and faithfully sounding the trumpet of warning when she perceives danger approaching her beloved family.

She is an excellent wife and mother, you also need to be aware of what is going on with your family at all times. God has gifted you with what is often called a woman’s intuition, an inner sense of perception and alarm when something or someone is a threat to your family.

Science has even established this as a biological fact. Let the Holy Spirit use this to alert you to your family’s needs. Do not be afraid to take a strong stand when necessary.

Let it be known that you are a force to be reckoned with when it comes to your husband and children. Be proactive in guarding them from anything or anyone that would harm them.

d. She is openly praised by her children (v. 28a).

Rise up means to stand and make a public declaration or announcement (1 Chr. 28:2; Je. 17:1). The noble woman’s children want the world to know how precious she is to them. She is the force behind whatever success they achieve. They unashamedly stand and bless her dear, sweet name.

Note that these are adult children; young children would not be given a public voice in the society of that day. Many boys and girls do not honor their parents’ names when they are young, especially when their parents apply the rod of discipline, or enforce limitations, or faithfully protect them from the dangers of their own foolish nature.

But when they are mature sons and daughters, perhaps fathers and mothers themselves, they thank God for their parents’ diligence and sing their praises to the skies.

Sons and daughters should remember that there is nothing more precious to a mother than the sound of her children’s voices thanking and praising her. Remember to take time to let the world—and your dear mother—know of your admiration and gratitude for her. Tell her how much she means to you.

e. She is praised by her husband: He assures her that she means more and is far superior to all others (v. 28b–29).

Notice that this esteemed woman’s husband speaks about her and also to her. In modern language, he would address her as darling, which means the only one. Here are his heartfelt, appreciative words: “Darling, among all the moral and competent women in this world, you are the very best—the most virtuous and capable” (v. 29).

(31:10–12) She has an excellent, noble character.

2. (31:25–29) She has a strong testimony

3. (31:30–31) She has strong faith in God.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

  What makes the excellent, noble woman such a cherished treasure? What is behind all that she is and does? Lemuel’s mother reveals the secret of her success:

a. She is not focused on deceptive and fleeting beauty (v. 30a).

The value of the noble woman is not based on her pleasing personality, nor is it determined by her physical beauty. The Hebrew word for grace is translated favor or charm. It is most often used in the Old Testament with the word find.

Here it refers to a personality or demeanor that results in her finding favor with others: she is popular and well-liked. But grasp the point of this verse: personality and popularity do not necessarily reveal a person’s true character. A charming disposition is not necessarily genuine; it may be a sham.

Many people are masters at deceitfully portraying themselves in order to get what they want from others. We should not judge a woman personality. The most popular girls do not always make the best wives. Nor do the most gorgeous ones.

All men want a beautiful woman at their side. But the problem with physical beauty is that it does not last. It is vain (hebel)—transitory and fleeting. This is the word used so frequently by Solomon in Ecclesiastes.

Nothing he tried was lasting or permanent. Unfortunately, this is all too true with physical beauty and charm. People age and people change. A woman’s true value is not based on beauty. The virtuous woman is made of stronger, more important, and permanent qualities.

b. She fears the Lord (v. 30b).

Here is the secret of the noble woman, what makes her priceless and incomparable: she is praiseworthy because of her fear of the Lord, that is, her reverent, submissive relationship with the Lord.

This honorable woman embodies the attributes of wisdom found throughout Proverbs:

She has an impeccable character and great integrity.

She is loyal and trustworthy.

She does good, not evil.

She is diligent and industrious.

She makes wise financial decisions.

She is compassionate toward the needy.

She is prepared for the future.

She is strong and honored.

She is confident and bold.

She has great hope for the future.

She controls her speech, which is always holy and gracious.

She instructs others in truth.

She is kind and fair with others.

All of this is a result of her relationship with the Lord. Her exceptional worth is based on her fear of Him (1:7). Men who are wise do not choose their wives because of their popularity or beauty.

They select a woman who is characterized by her genuine reverence for and humble obedience to God, a woman who demonstrates the behavior and beautiful qualities spelled out in the list above.

Always remember this fact: it is our fear of the Lord that will direct our children to the Lord. We must teach our children to fear and trust the Lord by our own example.

Our example will guide them in everything they do. We cannot be the parents God intends us to be without genuinely and wholly surrendering our lives to Him.

(31:10–12) She has an excellent, noble character.

(31:25–29) She has a strong testimony

 (31:30–31) She has strong faith in God.

c. She deserves to be rewarded: Her works are to be praised (v. 31).

Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

“May the work I’ve done speak for me.

May the work I’ve done speak for me,

When I’m resting in my grave, there is nothing that can be said,

May the work I’ve done speak for me.

The work I’ve done it seems so small, sometimes it seems like nothing at all,

But when I stand before my God, I want to hear Him say, Well done,

May the work I’ve done speak for me.”